Steps to changing behaviors; Part 2: Emotion
Part 2 of 2
In Part 1, I summarized the Stages of Behavior Change Framework for non-Communications majors. I suggest you read it here first.
The mirrored stairway model
The story of Mark can be not just about smoking. It can be about trying to study better, be a better spouse, or it can even be about getting into an ecosystem of products like Apple, Google.
The model however, looks only at the practical and cognitive dimensions of behavior change. And we know that behavior change is an emotional endeavor as well. We all have functional jobs to be done (practical and cognitive), as well as emotional jobs to be done (affective).
The modified model is a mirrored stairway model I developed to add this necessary dimension.
The stairway that goes up is the original model by Dr. Al-Alfy; which I labelled Engagement. The higher an we go up the model, the quality and frequency of our engagement also increases or deepens. We research more, assess more, communicate more, and do more with products or ideas we are more deeply attached with, right?
The De-escalating Stairway
The “mirrored” stairway or the stairway deeescalating goes down is what I call Attachment. As you progress through the different stages, your attachment with the product, brand, or message deepens. In reality, each step up the mountain is a step deeper into our commitment. The same goes for this. Each stage in Engagement has their corresponding stages in Attachment. These stages in attachment are values the audience needs to have to at each stage of Engagement.
Awareness needs Interest — For us to be aware about something, we must first be interested in it. Yes, we receive information about things we don’t care about from all sides (thanks social media!) but awareness also means we find out more about something; and that takes interest. That’s why companies make their messages as appealing as possible so the audience take interest in them.
Learning how to learn is important to developing awareness. It’s not easy too. To learn how to learn, we should be aware of our gaps, our wants, and our needs. Self-reflexivity, or the ability to look at one’s self is a necessary skill — a muscle that needs exercising.
Comprehension & Risk Perception needs Openness — You can never be persuaded if you have a closed mind. When learning, it’s important for us to be open. After all, learning and comprehension is a sandbox, not a maze. (You what is a maze though? Brainwashing hehe!) It should be open so we can create our own meaning from the things that we have. A closed mind is full of biases and leads us to barriers and forces us on to a specific path. We get tunnel vision with a closed mind.
Decision-making needs Courage — Decision-making is an act of courage. We can spend weeks and months analyzing and not get anything going. That is why a core competency of a good leader is being decisive. And decision-making takes courage because making decisions can result to irreversible effects.
How then do we develop courage? There are many ways a lot of people and organizations have been suggesting. Developing Psychological safety is teams, and a culture of embracing failures are just two; and they’re what I like to call external solutions, or solutions that does not come from within you. Although I fully support these, I believe without an internal solution, or self-propelled, self-imposed development, external solutions fail. An internal solution to developing Courage is basically developing the muscle for courage. Take risks, don’t give a f*ck, and just make decisions, deal with their repercussions, and develop scar tissue. Scar tissue is thicker skin.
Intention needs Readiness — Just because you decided does not mean you have intention. Courage and readiness can be very different things. While courage is the ability to face an ordeal, Readiness is being fully prepared to experience it. To intend to do, buy, or transform, you must be ready emotionally, psychologically, mentally, physically, and financially. Readiness is what equips us to take the next step.
So how might you prepare yourself? First you identify which area you need to ready yourself. If it’s financially, then start saving money; if its mentally, apply in courses to help you up-or re-skill; if its emotionally, meditate; psychologically, get therapy or talk to family; and of physically, physically train for what you whatever it is you are embarking in. These are just some of the many ways to prepare. Do whatever works for you.
Action needs Trust — And that next step is to take action. To do, to buy, or to start the journey towards transformation. That needs needs a great deal of trust. We need to trust the product, trust the process, trust the salesman, or trust the message. Without trust, action is just an accident. Action is intentional. Do you trust yourself to start Doing? If not yet, you might still need time to prepare youself. Go back to Intention and Preparation.
Maintenance needs Loyalty — The last stage, Maintenance, needs loyalty. It your loyalty to your vision, loyalty to yourself. We are our own worst enemy, most of the time, and that’s okay. As long as you are sincere and honest with yourself and whoever’s involved in whatever you are doing, that should okay. It is a journey, afterall. Loyalty and Maintenance are co-dependent. Loyalty needs to be Maintained, and Maintenance breeds even deeper Loyalty.
It’s hard
It is. Trying climbing an infinite stairway. That’s exactly what it is. Behavior change is not a episode. It’s a TV series that ends the day we die. And that’s okay! Ever tried a stairmaster? I hate that stuff, but it works.
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